Social Comparison
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone
We all compare ourselves to other people—our friends, coworkers, strangers on the internet—and most of the time, it makes us feel like shit. But why do we keep doing it? In this episode of Solved, we dig into the uncomfortable truth behind social comparison, how it quietly ruins our self-worth, and why most of what we envy in others is a projection of our own insecurity.
We also get into the brutal paradox of success, the toxic loop of chasing status, and how the constant measurement of our lives against others is one of the dumbest things we do as a species. If you’ve ever felt not good enough, or like you’re falling behind, this one’s for you.
- 0:00 Introduction
- 5:29 Chapter 1: Evolutionary Roots
- 16:20 The Emotional Toolkit
- 20:18 Chapter 2: Philosophy and Social Comparison
- 23:31 The Buddhist Path
- 24:58 Aristotle
- 34:34 Stoicism
- 36:24 Existentialism
- 40:06 Myths
- 48:37 Chapter 3: The Psychology of Social Comparison
- 58:54 Downward Comparison
- 1:22:19 Chapter 4: Digital Technology and Social Comparison
- 1:44:20 Chapter 5: The 80/20 of Managing Comparison
- 1:57:40 Hidden Costs
- 1:58:48 Takeaways
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References
- Social Comparison Theory
- Leon Festinger
- Upward Comparison
- Downward Comparison
- Social Brain Hypothesis
- Dunbar’s Number
- Paul Bloom
- Confucianism
- Buddhism
- Aristotle
- Nicomachean Ethics
- The Politics (Aristotle)
- Jean-Paul Sartre
- Being and Nothingness
- Simone de Beauvoir
- Theory of Mind
- The Fall (Biblical)
- Dalai Lama
- Jonathan Haidt
- The Anxious Generation (book)
- William James
- Self-Evaluation Maintenance Model
- Temporal Comparison
- Stoicism
- Epictetus
- Seneca
- Marcus Aurelius
- Meditations (Marcus Aurelius)
- Theodore Roosevelt
- Thomas Aquinas
- Great Chain of Being
- Adaptive vs. Maladaptive Comparison
- Self-Efficacy
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Growth Mindset
- Fixed Mindset
- Megalopsychia (Aristotle's "great-souled man")
- Theory of Value (Philosophy)
- Existentialism
- Rejection Sensitivity
- Self-Esteem Equation (William James)
- Temporal Comparison Theory
- Social Media & Mental Health
- Dunbar's Social Circles
- Moral Indignation
- Narcissism (Grandiose & Vulnerable)
- Jean Twenge (social media psychology)
- The Coddling of the American Mind
- The Silver Medal Paradox
- Social Pain Neural Networks
- Anterior Insula
- Cingulate Cortex
- Ventral Striatum
- Self-Other Overlap
- Dunbar's Social Brain Hypothesis
